Showers

So in about five hours I'm hosting a double bridal shower here. The brides are a pair of sisters, and lifelong friends of mine, and there will be about 25 guests. This has been conceived and planned as an outdoor lawn and garden party. It is raining right now, but looking at the radar I think we might have some luck with us, and it may be clear by the time the guests show at noon.

I throw a lot of parties and I've learned there are things you need to forestall. Mostly that's the early arrivers, and the guests who aren't sure about making conversation with new people so instead come in and offer to help you as you're getting everything ready. A good hostess will anticipate this, and have discrete projects for these people to make them feel helpful and like they belong and are part of things. It doesn't do any good to have everything perfectly ready (plus you generally can't) but you've got to have the big stuff ready -- the food, the tables, the beverages, plates and napkins and cutlery. You've got to have the drinks and ice and limes and cream and sugar in a place where people can tend to them themselves, because you'll be managing the people who want to help you and you don't want to be the gatekeeper for refreshments. You've got to have a pretty good handle on the timing of everything, so you can manage that without being thrown off by all the people arriving and telling you things and asking you questions. You've got to have figured out seating and placement and a way to get people to gather in the rooms you want them to be gathered in. And you need to have little projects you can delegate without it getting complicated (and without it mattering terribly much if the project doesn't turn out the way you would have done it). So I have platters, serving implements, knives, napkins, tablecloths, empty vases, etc. out, and when a helpful guest comes in looking to do something hopefully it will not become a scavenger hunt around my kitchen, with me endlessly directing them and they asking a million small questions ("Where would I find a knife?" "Do you happen to have a slotted spoon?" "Do you think I should use this bowl or do you think that's too big?") In summer I like to send my guests out to the yard and garden with a vase and a knife, asking them to come back with flowers for the tables. They love that -- it's a pleasant and fun project, it gets them out of my hair while I fill the ice bucket or stir the pot on the stove or whatever, it has a lovely and immediately evident impact on the gathering, and I can heap credit on them at the table. It also tends to make the table decoration more elaborate and pretty than I would do myself -- rose petals scattered along the tablecloth, etc. Nice. Sometimes I set up a little artsy-craftsy corner with colored paper and card stock and glitter and glue and scissors and colored pencils and ask people to make placecards. Again, we end up with hilarious and creative little cards, the guests feel involved and pleased with themselves, and it gets them talking to one another, and I don't have them milling awkwardly around the kitchen.

Anyway, the sisters and their mother are helping organize this, and I think I've got things set out clearly enough that they can usefully help with setting up and arranging without me having to direct them around the cupboards and drawers of my kitchen. On my own list is hitting the grocery store for some last minute items, brewing up the sangria, and, when the rain stops, mowing the lawn. Might bake a couple of strawberry rhubarb pies if I have time. I have managed not to get a gift for either bride, which is ridiculous and unacceptable. Cards and IOUs will have to do.

Comments

[John P.]

I feel so inadequate right now.