One of the things I've been thinking about since my trip to Chicago is instincts and intuition and impressions. I read "Blink" while I was there, and two novels with protagonists who had trouble reading people. And I met a whole bunch of people and came away with distinct impressions, some positive, and some negative, even though I didn't get to have long, meaningful, or especially personal conversations with many people.
I have a headache and a headcold and I'm in a rush, so I can't really formulate a nice essay about this. Yesterday I went to a luncheon/CLE seminar for the consumer bankruptcy practitioners in Maine. Again I walked out of there feeling that some of the lawyers in the room were people I wanted to tap as mentors, colleagues, and friends, while others I wanted to stay as far away from as possible. Obviously you can't tell from sitting in a banquet room who's a good lawyer and who would be a good collaborator and sounding board. But of the people I didn't already know, I noted the names and the faces of those I wanted to get to know. It wasn't everybody.
Blink was all about how much information we get and how much we're guided by very thin slices of information. Unfortunately I didn't fully understand or digest Blink; since there were examples of how we're misguided by thin slices of information as well as how we're accurately guided by them, I closed the book not sure whether to trust these first impressions or to push past them.
I think, though, I'm using Blink as my excuse to trust them. Some people seem to project something trustworthy; I get a sense that we see the world the same way. Other people seem to be trying to project authority and yet what I see is insecurity or desperation. There's another group who seem not to be tuned in to what anyone's projecting: they seem to lack discernment and respond equally well to the folks who strike me as charlatans and the folks who strike me as wise, powerful, and authentic. Writing this makes me feel like a bad person -- wouldn't it be Zen-like and better to be like those people who I describe as "lacking discernment"? Isn't it better not to judge? No. I don't think so. I think there are people who I should trust, and who I should seek out opportunities to learn from, and people who I should sidestep. I guess I find that the older I get the more quickly I feel like I know who's who. Which feels good, but sounds bad. Am I narrowing my mind? Am I becoming judgmental, closed-minded, uncreative, unfriendly?
Another thread here that I'm not yet able to sort out is how instincts guide impressions in the blog world. I've met a bunch of bloggers now in person, and collaborated with two on LexThink before ever meeting them in person. I find that I'm rarely surprised in too many ways by the person behind a blog I've been reading. Jack Vinson wrote some things about collaboration and trust and authenticity that fit into this.
I guess the fundamental thing I'm thinking about these days is trust and where it comes from. There are people I met on Sunday who I trust a lot, and people I don't trust very much. Same with yesterday. I like almost everyone -- this isn't about sociabilty. And I'm interested in almost everyone -- this isn't about curiosity. But trust is something different, and I think for me to trust someone I need to sense intelligence, self-awareness, and authenticity in the way they project themselves. I need a glimpse of true interest or curiosity or passion, untainted by self-promotion.
Sorry, this isn't a great post. Blame it on the headcold. There's a lot more about this, processing itself behind some locked door in my brain. I expect I'll dump some of it here from time to time. Perhaps someday it will be coherent.
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