It has rained the whole month of May. That can't be true, but it is pretty close to true. I just went surfing around looking for confirmation and I can't find hard statistics. I found another blogger who asserts there has been exactly one full day of sun in May. That sounds right. It's been well over a week since I've seen the sun, and then it was only a glimpse, and it was gone within a couple of hours. It has been in the 40s and 50s, grey and wet and drizzly, with a cold wind, for as long as I can remember. Scarf, hat, gloves, raincoat weather. My dad posted about the bleak rain a month ago, and I had to check the date because it could have been written almost any time in recent memory.
The impact on my mood has been dramatic. I haven't been going outside, I haven't been exercising, and that has a big impact on my energy and self-esteem. I've watched more movies than I usually do, and I've read more fluff. I've eaten too much comfort food and drunk too much tea with honey. I have a lingering headcold that's not going away, as do most people I know. I have a big ouchy wound on my left hand that's making me wince. I have a lot to do. All of these things don't help. But the constant rain, the cold wet nasty unpleasantness every time I try to go outside, and the gray unceasingness of it has made me despondent. I feel like an animal in the zoo: listless, trapped, unmotivated, out of my element. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning -- there's not enough light, I'm sick of the sound of rain on the window. I am not myself. It's very strange.
Tomorrow I have to go for a run, and maybe visit a tanning booth or something. The forecast shows nothing but clouds and rain through Monday, when it offers the small respite of a "mostly cloudy" forecast.
How do people live like this? I want to throw myself off a bridge.