The New Program

I'm still feeling tender from a recent romantic disappointment.  My solution: outsource my romantic life to others who are better able to handle it.  I've decided to obsess about my weight and appearance instead.  Doesn't that sound productive and fun to be around?  Neighbor and I have been working out pretty hard since January, but somehow the way it has worked is that I get most of the strength gains, and she gets most of the muscle tone.  It doesn't seem fair, exactly.   

A committee has been formed to address my romantic life and how to improve it.  There are three members of the Committee so far, plus several non-voting Advisory Board members.  (As the executive charged with carrying out the vision of the Committee, I attend meetings but do not have a vote.)  The Vice Chairwoman decided that the summer regime will be to arrange one new first date for me every week for the next fifteen weeks.  There will be further ground rules established at the Committee meeting next week.  I overheard some discussion about penalties if I don't go on a date (e.g. washing all the windows in my house).  I suggested there be an incentive-based compensation structure to reward good performance by the executive, and was told the Committee would take it under advisement.

If you have input for the Committee, well, I'm not sure what you should do.  It's not my job anymore, thankfully.  I'll be eating carrot sticks and overexercising.  Should be a fun summer. 

Comments

[will]

I would like to put forth my application to be on your Committee. My qualifications:

1. I do not know you.

2. I will not be influenced by any personal desire to get in your pants.

3. I am a divorce lawyer.

4. I am a single male with children in a committed relationship (with a woman).

5. I have dated a LOT.

6. I have made LOTS of mistakes in my life.

I hope that you will consider my application to be on your dating committee. References provided upon request.

[Nicole]

You have good friends. Let them take some of the stress off you.

[Scheherazade]

Will, your credentials are indeed impressive. But I'm not clear on one point. Do you know any single men in Maine? Will you be able to buy the drinks at commitee meetings? People who can make at least one of those kinds of contribution will probably have a leg up on committee membership. (Although it is obviously not up to me....)

[Ms. F]

Wow - a whole committee! Terrific. Though I will say as someone who is in a similar situation, 15 first dates in 15 weeks sounds exhausting. If I were on the committee, I might slightly reduce the quantity (10?) and concentrate on quality. :)

[hilllady]

I agree, 15 dates sounds hellish. But hell, 1 date for me these days sounds hellish. Maybe that's my problem? Perhaps I need my own committee?

[will]

I do not know any single men in Maine.

However, my distance should be a reason for my inclusion. First, I can be objective. Second, since I am in Virginia, the Committee will have the opportunity for a ROAD TRIP!!!!

[alkali]

Wow - a whole committee! Terrific. Though I will say as someone who is in a similar situation, 15 first dates in 15 weeks sounds exhausting. If I were on the committee, I might slightly reduce the quantity (10?) and concentrate on quality. :)

The truth of the matter is that dating for purposes of getting into a relationship is a volume business, like or it not.

A couple of friends of mine met through high-volume dating. Their first date started on a bad note when the male half of the couple was greeted by a restaurant owner with, "Mr. Smith, so nice to see you again this week." (They survived it.)

[Bodhy]

Hmm, this is interesting, its always been my experience that love never comes when one is trying too hard, or specifically looking for it. Although maybe this doesn't count if it is a committee that is working hard on your behalf. Have fun with this, don't expect too much from it, and it may just work.

[Al Wheeler]

There's nothing wrong with your life that a few weeks in Paris wouldn't cure. Seriously.

[a]

Be sure to dip those carrot sticks in some hummus. You don't want to go overboard!

[bill]

I see that MIT is advertising for a varsity sailing coach...bigger city! Greener pastures! You'll meet someone down there, and invite us all to the wedding. There -- problem solved. Next?

[Pat]

Perhaps you need to sign up as well for a Managed Friendship* plan. Your Primary Friendship Provider could then process your application for a referral to a Dating Specialist.

*(a parody of HMOs, which I saw once and could probably dig up from the net)

Carol Anne has a unmarried brother (Muddled Ramblings is his weblog), but,
he's living in the Czech Republic in Europe as a mostly-unemployed not-quite-starving writer after having divorced and given up being a software designer in San Diego a couple of years ago. At least he's been sailing with us and with a cousin.

[PG]

If you're willing to link a website like that, why not just use the online dating services and mention those dealbreakers in your profile to weed out the guys you definitely won't want? Surely if your friends on this committee knew men whom you would like, the introduction would have happened already. The high volume part is true, but two of my best friends from college are dating (one living with) guys they met through Match.com. Have the committee write up a nice profile and screen the e-mails for you if they want to be useful.

[misspixie]

I was going to ask if you had tried Match.com. Any objections to doing so? Friends have really benefited from it.

[turboglacier]

I've met some of my best friends through match.com

[Dan]

Sometimes it just takes one meeting of the right person. Quality is far better than quantity, and it does help to have someone doing the pre-screening to weed out the riff-raff...

15 dates in 15 weeks does sound awfully exhausting... and doesn't really strike me as realistic... what happens if you like candidate #2, if you're doing the 15 dates in 15 weeks, it tends to kill a lot of the time you might have for getting to know if #2 is the right person to invest in....

[l.]

Love it! Dating is so much fun, and since you know you have to go on another first date next week anyway, there'll be no pressure. It's amazing how different a date is when there's no pressure! This is a really good idea - my compliments to the august committee! And if you like someone early on in the process, it's not like his head will explode if you go on a date with someone else. If he wants to date you exclusively he has to earn and ask for it, anyway...

[giniki]

There may be benefits from this committee setup even if the members' efforts don't bring you the love of your life. You have the makings here for a good sitcom or one of those ever so popular reality shows. (How about "My Maine Man" or "Portland Promises"?)