You know in Harry Potter, how Voldemort split his soul and trapped the fragments in the horcruxes? And you know how no wizard had ever split his soul more than once, because doing it is so destructive? And that the terrible, inconceivable thing about Voldemort was that he split it seven times?
Sometimes I feel like making a new friend splits my soul a tiny bit. It requires a focus and a devotion and it entails a commitment. And sometimes even if I can see that someone who writes me is wonderful and worthy and interesting, I don't feel like I have enough soul left over to engage back. It's the reason I'm sometimes unresponsive, even (especially) to people who really seem like kindred spirits. It's like juggling or something, only with precious things, Faberge eggs or vases or baby chicks. I don't want to drop anything I'm already carrying, and sometimes that's already hard enough.
It's something I don't like about myself. But I haven't figured out how to be different.