Being Here

I'm sitting indoors, with the kettle on, while outside a raw grey wind rages around, scattering leaves off the trees.  It's cozy in here.  I've spent the morning reading and writing and packing for our next trip.  There's a sleeping dog at my feet, although it's not Lila, who I miss moment-to-moment with a surprising strength. 

I miss a lot of things about home.  My dog, my family and my friends.  My ocean, my city.  Even the clothes I didn't pack.  I miss my routine, too -- the daily set of things I do, at the times I do them.  The people I see and the landmarks I drive past without particularly noticing them. I miss knowing where to find the vinegar at the grocery store, and where the hipsters hang out drinking coffee.  I miss knowing whether it's high tide or low tide, and seeing the direction of the breeze on the water.  I miss the salty smell of the ocean, and the musty brown-green smell of seaweed at low tide.  Yesterday, on a walk around the NC State campus, I saw a place selling Dunkin Donuts coffee and nearly bought some just for the familiarity of a ubiquitous New England brand. 

What's strange is being in a place where there's no community who cares about boats.  At some times in my life I've pulled away from the world of boats, but I've never lived where there wasn't one.  It reminds me what a niche I really live in, and how completely I've come to think this tiny niche was "real".  Whenever I want to get perspective on how other people must think about sailing and sailboats I think about how I imagine the world of horses and dressage.  I think of horse people as peculiar and privileged, with an obscure if harmless obsession.  Is it a waste of time?  Not to them, I'm sure, and I'm sure there are plenty of good habits and lessons you can learn from taking care of horses.  But it doesn't hold any particular kind of attraction to me, nor am I curious about it in the slightest.  I've known that my own dedication to sailboat racing is similarly fringey and irrelevant, but living and working where I do, it's been possible for me to think that LOTS of people care about boats, because boats MATTER.  Here in Raleigh, boats don't matter at all.  Isn't that strange? 

Comments

[Pat]

Try living in a community whose members don't even really know what a sailboat is. Curiously, New Mexico apparently has more boats per capita than Hawaii.

[bill]

I think almost any avocation is its own little world. A friend rides horses and her world revolves around them like yours revolves around boats. Another friend plays adult hockey and is a fan, and he lives a rich, full life in the hockey world. Another is a serious badminton player and it's part of who she is. You/they/I/we lucky to have such opportunites to pursue these different interests.

[Christy]

You are very fortunate to live in a place of such uniqueness. Just like the mountains to us, it is a small piece of heaven in a crazy world. It is hard to take yourself out of a small place of familiarity. I think we all go through times like that in our lives and savoring all the small things is what life is all about. Can you imagine what it must be like for other's who have never really been about to step outside their "own" world and see the world for someone else's eyes. We are so lucky to be able to have that freedom and choice. New England is it's own little world and I loved it when I was able to visit it some years ago. The simplicity of life there at times must be wonderful. But I am not naive to think everywhere in New England is simple. I am ready to go back!!!