Geez, people. I was going to tell you. Tomorrow I get in my little car and drive south, to North Carolina. No, I'm not moving there. I'm staying until the second week of January, unless there's a compelling reason to come home sooner.
This means that things with NBT are very good. I'm tempted to add a lot of hedging things here, like, "it's early yet" or "it's too soon to say" or "I could be wrong" or "who knows if this can be trusted" but that inclination to hedge and back away from hope is a relic from when I was really guarded. All of my past dating failures made me afraid to believe in possibility, because I was afraid it would dissolve and I'd feel disappointed and embarrassed. I guess those walls were a self-protective mechanism, but I am not sure they were good for me. The truth is I don't want to hedge on this. It's going really well.
Maybe I'm wrong about NBT, but that goes without saying. It doesn't feel like I'm wrong. I'm not afraid of being wrong. I'm not afraid at all. I just feel happy, and relieved. It's the feeling of breathing out, the feeling of seeing the ocean, the feeling of walking into the house and setting a heavy bag down. He's a cool glass of water. (But he is not the wind in the orchard, the plums on the counter, or the house of cards.)