I throw a fair number of dinner parties, barbeques, happy hours, and other impromptu gatherings. I like to do it. I like bringing people together, making a situation fun, making it safe for people to talk freely and laugh and lower the barriers. At my summer party I usually go around with a huge pile of temporary tattoos letting people put skull and crossbones or dolphins or chinese characters on their biceps or their feet or their collarbone. And people do -- people you wouldn't expect. At my last summer party somebody started breakdancing. At the annual Winter or Fall Games everyone gets a nickname and has to refer to everyone else by their nicknames so months later lawyers and doctors and research scientists and engineers are asking after "Notorious BLT" or "Curbside Pickup" or "Shifty Bob". At my dinner parties people talk about religion and poetry and friendship. Sometimes they draw pictures or tell stories or move furniture around. I love people, I'm fascinated by all kinds of folks, and I love it when they open up to me and to one another. One of my great fortunes in my life is that I've got lots of smart and interesting and articulate people in my tribe. Some are funny and some are artistic and some are a little bit dorky and some are shy and some are wild, and I like all the different ways there are for people to be themselves. I've managed to fix a lot of people up -- start romantic or just platonic relationships between people that blossom, sometimes beyond my own friendship with either person. I think that's because I help people show the best sides of themselves to other people. It's one of my favorite things about being me.
Both Will Baude and Jeremy posted recently about why they don't allow comments on their blogs. Jeremy's reason is sort of about not wanting to be outdone on his own turf by a commenter -- an unlikely scenario, it seems to me. And Will grumps about the other side -- he thinks the remarks by commenters on most blogs are inferior to the words of the bloggers he likes and urges blog authors to get rid of the riff raff. It's about quality control for him, I guess.
Here's what I think. This blog for me is partly about self-expression, but it's also a way of starting conversations, creating a safe place to talk about things I find interesting, some funny, some serious. It's like a big backyard party or a dinner gathering. There are interesting people here. Smarter and more interesting than me, if I've done a good job. I love that they want to respond to the things I write. I love that they want to respond to one another. I love that people are finding blogs they like better than mine by reading the comments of people here. Sheesh. I don't see what riff raff has to do with it. This is a friendly gathering of intelligent people with interesting lives, not a lecture hall.
Sounds like wonderful parties! In your "about me" you self-describe yourself as an extrovert and from your writing can definitely believe it!
I'm an introvert and given the choice of attending a party and hosting a party, I like hosting them. Nice thing about hosting is that I can chat people up but when I need an introvert break, I can slip into the kitchen to work on some food item.
Totally relate to your pleasure in providing an environment for people to be together.
All the best in the road ahead. Its scary but that's normal and OKAY. You've got a good head on your shoulders and a good heart!
Posted by: Rene | June 03, 2004 at 10:29 AM
I find commenting on blogs irresistible. It is part of the fun of reading a blog (in addition to the quality of the writing and the ideas, and the frequency of the daily updates!) Even if I don't comment, I know I could easily do so; that makes it exciting.
I read a couple of middle eastern blogs in addition to this one. Who would have thought when we were growing up how easy it would become to engage in a quick exchange of ideas with ordinary people half the world away!
Posted by: | June 03, 2004 at 10:46 AM
My own blog generates few comments, but I love it when someone offers me a bit of feedback or provides a counterpoint to my attempted point. Sometimes, when I've written about something tough (like my vision loss), I feel pretty vulnerable, so getting even brief comments like "yeah, me too" or "hang in there" or whatever makes me feel a little less awkward about putting so much of myself out there. And commenting on others' blogs is so much fun! Particularly among the law bloggers, the comments seem to create a delightful sense of community and camaraderie.
Posted by: mad | June 03, 2004 at 11:20 AM
Word.
Posted by: Dave! | June 03, 2004 at 11:26 AM
Yeah, word, to both Sherry's and Mad's comments.
Posted by: UCL | June 03, 2004 at 01:46 PM
As an added perk, it gives those of us who have not made the leap into blogdom an opportunity to add our input.
Posted by: Dave | June 04, 2004 at 10:26 AM
i was once told that the last step of communication is feedback. basically the idea was that your message isn't fully conveyed unless you have confirmation that someone recieved it. so comments are almost essential for that. but both will and jeremy get feedback in other ways - readers apparently email jeremy, and will gets tons of TrackBacks. so i guess they can do whatever makes them happy.
but yeah, like the writer above, i can't resist commenting. maybe that's part of extroversion, who knows.
and comments make each post the start of a conversation, not, like you said, a lecture. it's much less egotistical.
Posted by: monica | June 05, 2004 at 11:54 AM