Just because I haven't been writing about my professional ambitions doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about them. And over the weekend, in the midst of one of the sessions I was attending, some ideas came bubbling up to the surface and my notes went abruptly from the role of the PBGC in overseeing proposed pension plan modifications to what I want my life to look like two months from now, and how I might be able to bring that about.
It's funny, as I've gotten older I do tend to trust my own internal process. I can be working on things, mulling things over, without attacking them directly or charging headlong at them. That's nice to confirm. I also recognize the value in waiting with an idea and seeing what it feels like after a few days rather than blundering along at the first glimpse of something appealing. I am getting better about recognizing the common threads in the things that appeal to me, and the similarities in the things that scare me.
Step one in this tangled mess was to leave a situation when I began to feel like it wasn't leading in a direction I wanted to go. Step two, where I've been stuck, was to visualize what wild success in a professional situation will look like for me -- how would my life be structured, what elements would my job contain, how much flexibility and time and money would I have, etc. I'd caught glimpses of this vision before but it came to me with a lot more clarity over the weekend. So now I'm wrapping up step two (tease out more details, and as much specific information as possible about what my aspirational perfect professional situation is) and moving on to step three: find people who can help me get there, and convince them to help me. I feel like the waiting phase is over, and the working phase is beginning. I'm not sure I have felt blocked, particularly, but suddenly I feel a clarity and a sense of purpose and excitement that hasn't been in me for a while.
Sorry about the lack of specificity here -- too much remains un-sorted out and subject to change and modification to post it up on the Internet right now. It's still forming in my head. I also remain cognizant that there may be a Step 4: Realize I'm deluding myself, that I can't figure out a way to achieve wild success, and compromise and settle for something that only meets some of my aspirations. But I'd rather get to Step 4 AFTER attempting Step 3 than jump right to it before I even try for wild success....
Congrats, on making it through Step 2. I lack the personal patience for that one. Best of Luck for successful completion of Step 3!
Posted by: kmsqrd | July 20, 2004 at 01:14 PM
Given your interests, have you ever thought about admirality/maritime law?
Posted by: | July 20, 2004 at 02:08 PM
Well, remember what Kimm Walton, acclaimed Job Goddess, says: No job will satisfy ALL of your needs/expectations! There is no perfect job . . . maybe you can prove her wrong? I hope so!
Posted by: Glib Gurl | July 20, 2004 at 02:29 PM
For more on Kimm Walton: see this post.
Posted by: Jeremy | July 20, 2004 at 02:46 PM