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As a current law student, all I can say is I never want to date a law student. I've seen other people in my college do it, and it puts a strain on their relationship because they're lectured together, supervised together and do the same work. At the end of the day, they do so much of the same stuff that I've never seen them talk about anything other than work. But that's my personal opinion. Maybe some people are happier that way - they can bounce problems off each other, and they can do their work together, but if I didn't have that separation of law and boyfriend I would go nuts.

Yeoman Lawyer

I don't know that a person should worry about these things. A lot of people worry about when they'll meet a person, and if the timeing is right. To heck with it. Far better to be aware, or hope to be aware, of the type of person you wish to meet, and what sort of values and personality you hope they will have. Frankly, you'll still be in the dark, but at least you won't be as clueless as you'll be if you try to time it based on where you hope to be in life at any one moment.

Having said all that, and having been married for a decade (very happily) I now realize that I'm really lucky I didn't marry any of the people I dated in college. It really worked out for me that I met, and married, a girl from back home who had a lot of the same interests I do, but who hadn't taken the same educational path at all. I dated a few people here and there when I was in school, no doubt, including two law students while I was a law student, but it was a real blessing those relationships didn't work out. Didn't feel that way then, but I realize that to be the case now.

FWIW, I'd hate to be married to another lawyer. Ick. Dating a law student could lead to being one of those lawyer couples, and that has always struck me as a poor situation for a happy home life. Most lawyers I know, except those married to other lawyers, feel the same way. And I note that amongst the married lawyer couples I know a high percentage of them ultimately develop such that the female lawyer quits practicing, or practices part time. Again, that's only FWIW.


Based solely on my personal experience, I would whole heartedly recommend dating and marrying a fellow law student. I met my husband ten years ago this month when I was a 1L and he was a 2L. Right before I began law school, I had resolved not to date any one until I finished school and had my career underway. To this day, I am very thankful that I quickly abandoned that resolution!

I had always thought that I would not want to marry another lawyer, that I would prefer to marry someone in a different profession so that I could experience a different life vicariously.

But in fact I love coming home to someone who understands exactly the kind of day I have had and the issues I have dealt with, someone who actually wants to hear about a telling exchange during a deposition or who is willing to hash out a knotty coverage issue over dinner. There is certainly a danger that we will become boring and insular from talking law, law, law so much, but I love the comfort of being around someone who understands and appreciates my professional identity. (My married experience compares quite favorably to my college relationship with an artist who kept accusing me of being "too cerebral" whenever I wanted to approach anything analytically.)

The major stress for a two-lawyer couple of course is the constant pressure and high working hours both spouses face. I think it likely difficult for such a couple (including for my husband and me) to have kids without someone making a career sacrifice. I like to think that my husband would be the one to scale back his career ambitions at least in the short term, but we haven't crossed that bridge yet, and it remains to be seen whether we ever will.

SO that is my experience but obviously everyone is different!

(By the way, still reading and very much enjoying this blog every day)


I have never dated another lawyer/law student and I can't really see it ever happening. Much as I enjoy the company of other lawyers in my professional life, I generally don't have a lot in common with them outside of law. Which does tend to make the conversation a little limited.

The majority of my friends when I was a student were doing another degree (law is an undergrad/bachelors degree in Australia), and I only have 3 friends now (out of about 20 all up?) that are lawyers or law students.

But maybe I just don't play well with other lawyers. ;o)



I am currently a first year law student and I think that the first year is definitely hard, but manageable. It's really all about time management. As of dating, I am very happy in my relationship so far with a non-lawyer and I want to keep it that way. I think that if I was dating another law student I would go crazy. I need some time away from the law, and my boyfriend definitley helps me do that.


I am currently a first year law student and I think that the first year is definitely hard, but manageable. It's really all about time management. As of dating, I am very happy in my relationship so far with a non-lawyer and I want to keep it that way. I think that if I was dating another law student I would go crazy. I need some time away from the law, and my boyfriend definitley helps me do that.


This is my situation:
My boyfriend is attending law school,(first year), and I am an education major. We have been dating for over a year and a half. He comes to me, and says that he isn't going to talk to me for 2 months, until his exam is done. (now i know what all of you women might think, why am i even bothering? he's not worth it!) however, I am bothering because i want to know how hard it is to have a relationship while going to law school? From your responses, I read that you NEED TO TAKE TIME AWAY FROM LAW. Well then why doesn't he get that? Should i keep pursuing that it is ok for him to be with me while he is in law school? Or should i just let him be, and wish him luck with the rest of his schooling? He's letting his school take him away from his entire life, (i.e. me, family, sports, hobbies). Is that what every law student goes through? help!


Yes, Kimmee. Every law student goes through that. My boyfriend of 2.5 years started law school this fall, and refused to talk to me about anything he was going through, our relationship, or really anything going on in my life on top of barely ever being around to just chat. I don't suggest doing what I did (eventually giving an ultimatum and breaking up just to end up working things out), but at some point you do need to put your foot down so that he realizes how selfish he is being and that it is possible to balance law school and a relationship. Until you reach that point, send him funny emails unrelated to law, care packages, or pictures of you/the two of you. When he finally does "get it", it'll definately be worth all the work. :)


I never dated another law student when I was in law school. I had a more balanced life than most of my colleagues and certainly didn't want to disrupt that. I always saw relationships in law school as inherently untrustworthy. That is, how do you know whether you bonded/related to the person for who they were (and would become) versus the fact that they understood what you were going through and were under the same experiences and pressure at the time? I don't believe that people should get together because they shared some hardship, etc. Plus, I think lawyers (a generalization) in particular are usually type A (or whatever descriptor you want to assign) and generally don't work out with other lawyers. See the higher divorce rate in the field.


I'm not a law student, but my boyfriend is. We have been dating for a little bit over a year and it's hard having a boyfriend in law school. I agree with everything that post said about being 1L student. He was definitely self absorbed. In fact, now as we enter the 2L year, I don't know if it's going to get better worse. I hoping for the best and hopefully everything will work out. I love him very much! I'm very understanding with his school work and I understand that schoolwork comes first.

I know that it was a hard first year for him, but it was a hard year for me too. I've never had someone that I cared so much about before who was outside my family.

On that note,does anyone have any helpful hints as to how I can deal with a boyfriend in law school?


I am in the field of education and I have met this great guy. We met around the same time he began law school, this is his first year. I was looking for something that gave me an indication of the difficulty involved in dating someone who is attending law school. To my amazement I ran accross this website. I have found it to be extremely helpful. Thanks to all who have posted their opinions and comments. I am not sure how things are going to work out but I am sure going to give the relationship my best shot.Thanks for the advice.

My boyfriend just entered into law school this year. We've been together for 3 years, attended the same undergrad for 2 and a half years. I'm still finishing up school in Kentucky while he moved down to Florida. We miss each other a lot and its been very difficult for him. He's not only going through all the stresses of 1L, but also dealing with being alone in a new place. It is manageable and it does work. He and I downloaded "skype" so that we can video conference each other. Its nice to see his face (and it keeps the phone bill low since its free). I send him care packages and cards all the time with words of encouragement and we fly to see each other every 2-3 weeks. The most important think to remember when dating a law student is you have to be very understanding and patient. Sometimes he blows his head and I just have to grit my teeth and not get mad, because he'll apologized once he rants and de-stresses a little bit. Wikipedia has been helpful, I use it to look up what the hell he's talking about sometimes. Even though you might not understand what they are going through, just try to be there for them. We're still going strong and if anything, it's brought us closer together.


Iam so glad I found this website. Well, I met a guy almost a year ago that was studying for his L-Stats and we become good friends.Although we both liked each other and occasionally would go out for lunch we remained friends. Not knowing what school he would end up I tried not to like him,but long story short he ended up getting accepted at a law school only an hour away from. We began to date in June. Things were running smoothly until 6wks later he got his first assignments in the mail and one weekend he gave me a rain check and didn't call when he said he would. When we finally spoke I let him know that I really like him and I think he's great, but in order for things to work out he should call me when he says he is. We went back and forth rationally, but he asked me for some time that he had a lot on his plate right now(he starts school next week). I stupidly told him the last time someone asked me for some time never got back to me and that was very hurtful and he said he doesn't want me to hurt so maybe I should move on. He apologized and said we would talk later. We have spoken as friends since but when I tell him Iam willing to give him time and I don't want to move on he won't answer. What should I do? What does this mean?


I, too, am dating a law student - a 1L. He has become increasingly self absorbed since he started school.
Waiting for someone to complete three years of law school - when you're not seeing them very often and your opportunities to go out are limited because of their student budget, being 'tired' and needing to make enough time for studying - is tough.
It's something that as a young woman in my 20s who is independent, likes to work hard during the week, but play hard on the weekends has a tough time accepting.
Two and half more years of this doesn't sound particularly appealing.
And I'm almost sure it won't get better once he graduates because of the stress of the bar exam, getting a job and excelling/trying to make a name for himself will follow.
I know, I sound pretty pessimistic.
Dating a student of law or medicine requires love and extreme sacrifice. It helps if the person you're dating recognizes this and doesn't take you for granted. We'll see if he can prove he's worth it.
Life's too short.

newbie 1L

I am getting ready to enter law school with my current boyfriend at the same school. We will have been dating for close to 2 years. I am very nervous, any recommendations on how to survive law school with your significant other?


my bf and I met in undergrad getting inducted into a pre-law fraternity. he had already taken his LSATS and I was just starting to study for mine. we fell in love and he promised he wouldnt break up with me (especially since he was only going to law school 45 minutes away). Needless to say he broke up with me 3 weeks before he graduated because he needed to "network for law school". He asked me to get back together soon after but I was so hurt i said no but 8 months later (his spring semester) we started dating long distance. After I graduated and moved back home (now an hour and a half away) we saw eachother on the weekends. He spend the summer interning in Philly, making it virtually impossible for us to see eachother and suddenly his networking turned into going out with his friends and I got drunk phone calls and my goodnight call.
Now that its finals time his Fall semester 2L year I've tried to learn from my mistake during his 1L finals and backed off - I tried not to call hi, text him and sent him funny emails to bighten his day - but that turned into him asking "why are you ignoring me". It was really a damned if you do damned if you dont situation.
My BF is EXTREMELY self absorbed. His mom babies every move he makes and since she's a 4th grade teacher its even worse (She treats him like one of her students).
I'd say ththat if you sacrifice everything for someone but theyre not willing to make any sacrafices for you and cant understand why you dont "see it their way" there is a point that you're going to hit that you feel like there's no hope.

I know I do.

As the new year is coming in, I'm starting to doubt if I can continue to come second to someone who broke my heart one, threatened to break it again and says that since "IM NOT IN LAW SCHOOL I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND". its almost as if he talks down to me because im not interested in listening to him talk about law all the time.

I myself am in the legal field so when i walk to my BF thats the last thing I want to hear. Since he started school, he has change so much, he's not even the person I fell in love with, nor is he the person I think I love still.

He thinks that I should bow down to him because he's going to be a lawyer and constantly tells me that I need to start learning how to live a "refined lifestyle". (IE: be the woman that has dinner ready for him after a long days work)

I'm never reminded that he loves me, he makes no attempt to show me that he does (especially since he's on a budget we do less.) Unless I go out of my way to call him he forgets - he tells me that he's studying - YES, EVEN AT 1AM. which i find a little odd. Don't law students need their rest?

It seems like my bf is so self absorbed in making a career for himself that he forgets he has a girlfriend, or at least thinks that I'm going to trail behind him like a puppy.

I don't know if it's work another year of law school, another year for the bars and 2 more years to wait for him to get a job.

Right now, my heart it breaking and I want to break up with him, but I cant bring myself to do it because I love him.

But then I remember, I have my own life and I'm not the law student.....so why am I living life one, just because I'm dating one ????

Canada Dry

Great blog!

On dating other law students:
I am a single, mid-20s (female) who is a 1L in a city I just moved to. Because I do not know any guys up here, the only guys I know are my colleagues. Initially, I decided not to date any classmates (of any year), because almost all of them are younger than me.

But, I recently met a classmate (a few years older than me) who embodies qualities that I absolutely find appealing in a guy. Granted, I don't know if it will work out between the guy and me, I am open to the idea. I am concerned that if things go sour and I have to be in the same classes as him, then what will happen on a professional level?

Regardless, school absolutely comes first. And I would insist they feel the same, too.

On dating other lawyers:
Before law school I spent a few years working at a law firm where most attorneys (60% at least) were married to other attorneys. Note: none of the married attorneys were employed at the same firm as their spouse. You have to appreciate people who: 1) know what they want in life, 2) can find a spouse who understands the demands of working in the legal field, and 3) may operate in a similar manner to you. For example, one of my firm's partners (husbnad) was married to a partner at another firm (wife). They were playful and loving when together, but definitely knew how to make things happen in their respective offices. The wife was able to give birth to two children while remaining a partner at her firm. (Must have had a nanny to help.) The husband was absolutely devoted to his wife and I know took off many afternoons from work to spend time with his children, rather than playing golf. But, both spouses have to be unbelievably organized to have a life like that...

Also, it appears that many legal professionals develop standards for themselves and other people, such that they have expectations for a spouse that perhaps only other legal professional embody.

I can only imagine myself being with someone who understands the work and energy involved in balancing a legal career and a romantic, energetic relationship.

So, here's to relationships between law students and lawyers! (Raises glass.)


I dated a guy for about 9 months, he graduated last August but stuck around to take the LSATS and work and save money until he got into law school. He moved home and now lives with his mom and little brother and sister and is miserable. He broke up with me almost a month ago because he doesn't/can't be in a long distance relationship or any relationship because of school. I wish I lived in the same city, but I don't even know if that would change anything. I love him so much and thought he loved me but why would he be doing this if he really did? I miss him terribly and am having such a difficult time being understanding of his wishes. After reading these past blogs I understand more than 1L are very self absorbed, maybe because they have to be...I just know I have to move on somehow and make my life and myself my #1 priority if that's what he's doing...I just wonder if he will ever come around...I guess I have a lot of time to wait and see.

Oops, I'm dating a classmate

I'm a female L1 and am considering dating another L1 (we only share one class), but am not noticing many female law students have success with dating their classmates.

My worries are "reputation" and "what happens if it doesn't work out". The 'barbie blog' called law students who date their classmates "tainted goods". -Not that I want to date someone else later, but it may prevent my classmates from taking me seriously as a woman. Any advice?

What do you think about the skill of approching women?


This is amazing.. I'm not familiar with law school at all.. I'm an accountatnt and our days are pretty much easy going, and the weekends are completely free. My boyfriend and I have been on and off because we both have had bad relationships in the past, and are not very trusting. I'm an independent girl.. with a lot of pride.. and when a guy ignores me I walk away. Unfortunately I have had trouble doing so with this particular person because he still claims to love me but cannot speak to me during the week because of law school and working simultaneiusly as a paralegal. Automatically I assumed this was some kind of copout, but I guess I just never realized how tough it is on them. Don't know if we'll be able to survive it, but I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with this.. and perhaps he is being honest. Thank you!


My story is slightly different, but so remarkably the same as many of yours. My story is different because I'm a lesbian, and my girlfriend is in law school 3 hours away from me. We started dating at the same time she started law school, so I'm lucky in the sense that I've never had another standard of behavior to hold her to. She is definitely a self-absorbed 1L, and yet somehow makes it seem like I'm the selfish one (lawyers....). I just want more time to spend with her. We only see each other every couple of weeks, and she still has to study during some of that time! Especially right now, during finals time, we aren't seeing each other at all. We barely talk on the phone.

I made the mistake of trying to give her an ultimatum. I attempted to break up with her because she has no time for me, but that backfired. Because I love her and still want to be with her, and now she's so frustrated with me for putting her through all this at finals time that she refuses to spend time on our relationship. She's taking it as license to be as self-absorbed as she wants to be. FML.

So, my advice, although I don't feel very qualified to give it, is.....don't break up with them during stressful times just because it's tough, or give them ultimatums. If you can't handle being in a relationship with someone whose 1st priority will never be you, where there is NO light at the end of the tunnel (I'm smart enough to realize graduating from law school is just the beginning), then don't be in a relationship! And decide fast and decisively. It's not fair to put yourself or them through all of that. I'm still deciding if its worth it, all the while her resentment toward me is growing, I'm sure. Because I can't just take what I'm given happily. Uhg. I'm telling you dating a law student sucks. Being in a long term relationship with one is an emotional death wish.

If this works out I better get a mercedes. At the very least.

But honestly, more than anything, I just want a real relationship as if I was with a normal girl, and thats my problem. I'm not. And you're not with a normal guy or girl either. Be careful that what you (reasonably) want does not turn into what you expect. Because when you don't get what you expect you become unhappy. And law students will never be able to give you a normal relationship. It will never be normal. They will never have more time. It will not get better. Either you accept this and love them enough to stick it out - or you don't.

Conclusion: O to A for life, and then FUCK YOU LAW SCHOOL.


I just started seeing a law student who is graduating this year and is in his last week of finals. He will be taking the bar in July, I believe.
I am trying to be patient, I really am but is he ever going to have even a moment of time for me? I'm not asking for a lot of time but just a tiny bit so that I at least know what and if anything is going on with us.
Normally, I would just call it a wash but I realize this isn't a normal situation so I found this blog and thought I would ask people who seem to know what they are talking about.

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