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Ah, but you didn't answer whether you thought your dinner last night was, or could have been, a date or not. Sometimes, what you might admit to be a date you don't want to broadcast to mutual friends/acquaintances who have the poor form to bluntly ask "Is this a date?" Unless it was SO clearly a date, the obvious response for anyone would be No.

Surely if you're not sure you're on a date it means you are on a date? A bit like if you're not sure whether you've been sleeping it must mean you have been sleeping.


What a horrible concept this "date" business is. You have some reason, any reason, to meet someone for dinner, a movie ... whatever. They have a reason to agree. Need anything more be said. Maybe this happens a second, third or more times... Perhaps the upshot is that you decide to write a paper together, perhaps you decide to become confidants, perhaps you end up have a romantic relationship either immediately or after other alternatives.

Seems to me the only thing imbuing the meeting with the word "date" accomplishes is to raise expectations that likely will be diappointed in one way or the others. Lose the expectations and go with the folow.

How do you answer the snoopy friend? "we're having dinner". Note the "just" is omitted. You have only stated the obvious, but that is all the questioner deserves as an answer.


What kind of an ass would ask such an awkward question as, "Are you two on a date?"!?? Ugh!


You're blind to the position of relative privilege from which you're approaching the question. Having not been on a date in so very very long, I've taken to thinking that being in line at the grocery store with an attractive woman is a "date." So were you on a date last night? I don't know, Sherry, I'd say you were practically married.

Al Wheeler

I wouldn't let a careless remark (from someone who is probably single) affect a relationship.


:-) I once had the "what constitutes a date" discussion from the other end, i.e. dating someone and trying to figure out what could be counted as the first date. I stoutly declared that a date required intent, or as Sherry says,

"What is a date but an audition for romantic possibility between two people? Sometimes you're sizing someone up for that possibility without admitting it. Maybe they're sizing you up, too. Do you both have to know that's what's happening for it to be a date? I think so."

If while the incident is occurring, both parties are thinking of each other as simply a friendly acquaintance sharing a meal, then it's not a date. Even whatever one might do before engaging in intimate activity isn't a date, unless the parties involved would consider themselves to be dating. Hence the delightful modern phrases "f*ck buddy" and "friends with benefits," which permit two people to spend time together and have sex together without dating.

Which is not to denigrate (as the conservative pro-courtship types seem to do) the virtues of non-dating relationships, whether they be benefited friendships or not, but merely to value distinguishing one species of relationship from another. There ought to be enough words in the language to describe these different activities.


I believe that your entry about dating should be taken into considerations. Normal circumstance do have something to do with our interpretation if a meeting is a date or not. Both is not just a planned encounter but can also be a start of something special.

there are also online dating websites available that are 100% for free. These websites are very popular because it won’t obligate you to pay for anything in using their services. All services are free and because people like free things, they will want to join 100% free online dating websites.

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