Schrodinger's Mole

I'm about to go have my brand new, irregular-shaped, peculiarly dark mole checked out by a dermatologist.  It's nothing.  I'm sure it's nothing.

UPDATE:  Well, I'm back.  She didn't have much interest in the mole, and wanted instead to yell at me for waiting 3 years to come back for a full body check.  She took some more pictures of some of my longtime standby moles and gently scolded me about wearing big hats and sunproof clothing outside.  After I redirected her attention back to the new mole she concluded it made sense to shave it off.  I hadn't planned on that, and prepared to get a little bit queasy and unhappy, but there wasn't time.  She stuck me with a needle and then pulled out a razorblade and singed me with a cauterizer and before I knew it it was gone.  A lab will tell us if it was bad or good. 

If it wasn't a bad guy I'm a little bummed that it's gone.  This is dorky to admit but I sort of make friends with my moles.  As she was asking me questions I noticed that I speak about my moles as companions.  "Oh that guy, I've been watching him.  He's not doing anything, just hanging out.  This guy I have to keep an eye on, because he's two different colors of brown, but he's been quiet for the last few years too."  I have a fondness for my speckles.  I like the way they dot my hands and arms.  This latest one was a new dark brown blotch on my left hand, where I used to have two dark moles as a child.  They were how I learned to tell my right hand from my left, but they've faded into barely discernable skin colored bumps over the years.  I pointed the fading out to Housemate a couple of months ago.  That's partly why the new appearance of a very dark patch is so noticeable -- she confirmed that it wasn't there before.  It's mesmerized me since I noticed it.  Slightly frightening, something new and dark that comes from out of nowhere, but also, strangely, it's comforting to see dark brown back on my left hand again.  So it seemed a bit sudden to look down and see a drop of blood and a cauterized pink spot where it used to be. 

She gave me a catalog of sunblocking clothing.  I am not a tanner.  I try to be virtuous about wearing sunscreen and long sleeves, although I do favor tank tops when the weather is warm.  But this is ridiculous.  I don't want to swim in a long sleeve top and specially made swimming pants.  I should be more conscientious than I am; I'm a very white girl and I am in the sun a lot.  But these clothes, while not completely dorky, are still hardly cute.

Comments

[Patrick]

My wife is going through a similar process. She has had several moles "shaved" lately. I really nagged her about having them looked at because some of them began changing shape & color this summer. Thankfully, none of them were malignant. But I think I know what you mean about missing moles. I miss some of her moles now that they are gone. And it's wierd because I'm not some kind of freako mole-guy, either. I just got used to them being there, I guess.

BTW, she initially went to a dermatologist about having them removed but ultimately decided to have a plastic surgeon remove them instead. NO SCARRING WHATSOEVER. Just a thought...

[Eleanor]

I just had a dark, two-colored mole removed on my shoulder this year. My primary care doc was like "oh, it's probably nothing, but let me refer you to this skin guy." The dermatologist said "oh, it's probably nothing, but let me take a punch biopsy and send it off to the lab." Then the lab said "it's probably nothing, but we do notice some melanocytes in the wrong spot here and we recommend a wider excision."

So I had a huge (to me) patch of skin, the size of a quarter, taken out of my shoulder. I had it done by a plastic surgeon and there was STILL scarring, I think because the shoulder is impossible to work with (always moving! pesky, bad for healing). And the labs came back saying everything was fine with that excised skin.

Anyway. I guess I just wanted to say "me too," but also to say that if I had to do it over again, I might've just decided to watch it for a few months and see if it grew at all. But I'm fair-skinned and blue-eyed (sending a picture soon) and acquiesced to all the doctors' erring on the safe side.

For the record, as a lowly medical student, I think you're doing the right thing as far as sun protection. Sunblock as religiously as possible, long sleeves/pants whenever comfortable, and frequent monitoring of your own skin. That's more than most people do.

[Eleanor]

p.s. I've been meaning to tell you that, given your love of books, I think you would like "Drop City," by T.C. Boyle. It's fast and easy and engrossing.

[Ms. F]

You know, I felt exactly the same way when my derm took the first of two moles off my back. I really liked the mole--oblong and a sort of soft brown color. I was shocked by how much I missed it when it was gone--like I had lost a little, unique part of myself. I found it gets easier with each one they take off, and I suppose the scars that replace them gives the skin another kind of character.

As a redhead, I'm also religious about sunscreen, and hats and long sleeves, but I'm not perfect. Even after my derm barked at me to get in her office every year and called me "The Poster Child for Melanoma."

[turboglacier]

Based on the above laments, I think some of you may be interested in my new web-based service, www.restoremymoles.com. Seems like there's more of a market for this than I expected...

[Angel]

I also have an affinity to my moles, especially the one on the upper section of my thoracic region (above the breasts) its small black and just sits there; its my beauty mark!