« Decision | Main | In Another Life »



two unsorted comments (okay, I'll sort them)

1) this "habit of thinking like a blogger" facinates me - both as a way of being and a way of writing. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on the subject, whether you find your way back into the old mode or not.

2) Regarding "the particular combination of verbal back-and-forth, one-upsmanship, in-jokes, and escalating absurdity that is so much fun for me" - I think it IS rare, probably as rare as romantic attraction/compatibility. I remember how rare it is every time I see my old friends from college, (where people like that were sent to be socialized.) So when you find both the attraction and the absurdity in one man, hang on to him, woman!


i was surprised to hear that you've never really dated guys who make you laugh like your friends do. it's hard to imagine dating someone with whom i couldn't share laughter. it's such a huge part of getting through the day--not a luxury, but a necessity. my husband and i don't have the exact same sense of humor, but we laugh together at a lot of things.

once, when a law school classmate met my now-husband for the first time he said, "i didn't expect him to be so intellectual." i told him i'd never date someone with whom i couldn't discuss ideas. this surprised him, and his surprise surprised me because he is such a philosophical person. then he told me that talking about ideas was what his friends were for, not his fiancee.

to me, it seems a somewhat strange approach to relationships--to overlook in a mate certain things one values highly, but to expect it in a friendship.


I missed your blog, though I doubt I ever commented before. Your first paragraph has totally captured my imagination this morning.

Then the whole thoughts on coaching.. and not dating who make you laugh as much as friends?

lots of food for thought here.

Don't bottle it all up in future..


I honestly believe that people look (subconsciously) for different things in other people. Upon examination, my friends serve defined roles that aren't necessarily shared by past significant others. While laughter and jibbing are quite important to me in various relationships, the same level of humor is not necessarily needed when examining a significant other. Maybe subconsciously you get that type of humor support from your friends, but you search for other values and characteristics in your mates.


On the other hand, for some people, the ability of a prospective mate to fit into the friendship dynamic is considered a necessity. My sister refuses to keep dating guys who never seem to fit in with her friendship groups. This might be too challenging a standard -- group relationships operate differently than one-on-one, and these groups have had longer to create the environment than a relatively new suitor has.

The comments to this entry are closed.