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Congratulations on leading the wedding of your friends! That is a big deal and you should feel proud no matter what flaws you might see after the fact.


Also, don't be too hard on yourself, after all this was the first time you've ever officiated at a wedding.

WOW! what a heartfelt, meaningful, personal, beautiful ceremony! goodness! did you write all that? it brought tears to my eyes! your friends are lucky to have someone as eloquent as you unite them in marriage. what an unforgettable ceremony!


Sounds like a wonderful ceremony. The homily was beautiful - it was very inclusive and very personal. I might've been a bit skeptical about having a non-"official" perform the wedding, but you were able to make the ceremony much more personal, which is something wedding ceremonies often lack.

Carol Anne

I would repeat previous advice not to be hard on yourself. Even experienced people have things happen to make the wedding less than perfect.

Right after Pat and I set the date for our wedding, the pastor of the church got struck by lightning, and while he survived, he wasn't able to officiate, so we had to go with the relatively new associate pastor, whom we hardly knew. Then for the wedding itself, my aunt and grandmother went to the wrong church, and so the pianist had to play "Time in a Bottle" over and over again for 25 minutes until they arrived.

Every wedding I've ever been to has had its slip-ups. You live with those.

And I will have to say that the ceremony that you did was far more meaningful and heartfelt than what Pat and I got, with an associate pastor that I barely knew and that Pat didn't know at all. You spoke to your friends, both the couple being married and the guests attending the celebration, and you did so honestly and personally. I especially loved how the vows were phrased: "Do you joyfully enter into this marriage as an equal partner, and do you solemnly accept its rewards and obligations?" The joyfully and solemnly are absolutely perfect, and the equal bit is essential.

Yes, you definitely have a talent for doing weddings. The key, in your case, is that, in order to do a good one, you're going to have to spend a good long time in an interview with the couple to absorb enough of them to make the ceremony meaningful. But I'm sure you can do that.


That was absolutely beautiful. I don't even know any of the people involved, but the love just shimmers from the page. And the Wendell Berry poem was exactly right.

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