All Requests: Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

Dawn asked me to write about whether I think everything happens for a reason.   My answer is no, but it probably sounds a lot like yes.

I have tried to find faith, but so far I haven't.  I believe in a universe that's mostly chance and accident, an infinite number of monkeys hammering away on an infinite number of typewriters.  I haven't completely reconciled this worldview with some other things I believe: in the urgency of living an authentic life, in the importance of cultivating kindness and curiosity, in the power of certain "compasses" we have: ethical and creative and relational.  I don't specifically believe in karma, but I act like it and if I try to talk about how I make decisions my language would get kind of groovy sounding.  Maybe that's why I read so many books on brain chemistry and happiness and evolutionary psychology, because I'm trying to make sense of it all.  But at the core, I don't believe there is a Plan or a Fate, that the various twists and turns in our life are put there by some kind of intelligence in order to teach us certain life lessons or provide particular opportunities or challenges. 

But.  I think we are creatures that need to find meaning, and I believe the hunt for meaning is fundamental.  It's important for identity and important for our social relationships and important for how we learn things and important for how we feel.  The process of constructing meaning out of what happens in our life is what gives us our compasses, and it's the tuning device that tests and adjusts those compasses.  So I believe very much in the practice of trying to figure out why something happened, what specific life lesson a person or an event allowed you to learn that you wouldn't have learned any other way.  I think doing that kind of thinking connects the dots and helps us cement associations and lessons so we don't have to keep learning them over and over again. 

So does everything happen for a reason?  No.  But can you find or create meaning from everything that has happened?  I think it's worth your time to try. 

Comments

[l.]

Oooh - I love this post! Well said...

[LAL]

Such a thoughtful post. Ilove the juxtaposition of spiritual questing with the (deliciously) mundane post below. It's the search for that balance which gives life its meaning and mystery.

[Nicole]

I don't think you have to believe in Fate to have Faith. Faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for though not yet beheld.

In the grand view I have faith, yet I don't believe in fate. Life is full of twists and turns and the result of many small choices and unforseen events.

The two ideas are not mutually exclusive.

[T.]

I agree. They aren't mutually exclusive. . It’s almost a celebratory comment. For most, when they mention that “things happened for a reason,” they are alluding to something ‘good,’ or happy in their lives. My litmus test: If someone cannot accept the bitter (death) with the sweet (love), then, they cannot accept that things happen for a reason. It does not work that way.

[Carol Anne]

I have to add to T's comment. There are some people who will say "this happened for a reason," even about something bad. Sorry, I can't accept that; I'm one of those people who don't believe things happen for a reason. Here in New Mexico, we recently had a major car crash in which a drunk driver wiped out five members of a seriously community-minded, upstanding, clean-living family, leaving only a 15-year-old girl alive. Then there were the comments by people who knew the family, and letters to the editor in the newspaper, to the effect that "God meant this to happen."

No, if there is a God, there is no way He would have meant something like this to happen. I don't think God had anything to do with a guy getting himself plastered, or with people who observed him apparently intoxicated not doing something to keep him from getting behind the wheel of his pickup truck, or with some unknown seller apparently providing him with even more alcohol sometime between the last known observations of him and the crash. Notice I'm calling it a "CRASH," not an "accident." An accident is something unavoidable. This WAS avoidable, and God didn't have anything to do with it not being avoided.

[joe]

I do not want to believe in a God , a heaven or hell or any power that makes things happen. I am not fond of statistics but if you ?believe? in physics you have to have a little respect for statistics. So here is my dilemma, what about those times that something happens that just defies the thought of life being a bunch of statistical occurrences. Like two nights ago my son had a battery problem with his car so I swapped cars with him so I could get him a new battery. I found there to be no problem with the battery but last night when I was leaving work with his car a break line ruptured dumping all of the break fluid. This happened when I was still sitting in the parking space so no damage occurred to me or his car. But my son at that time was using my car going 65 MPH down the interstate coming home from school. I just had to say thank you to something or someone.

Then there was the time when I was so angry with my business partner that I decided I would put Iodine in the coffee. We both were coffee drinkers but he had a seafood allergy and I do not. I went to the grocery store and bought some iodine. The next day ( I hadn’t even brought the iodine in to work yet) my partner told me that he was giving up coffee. Just like that- not cut down - but just stop. I never saw him drink a cup again. And I had not discussed with anyone, my Iodine idea or the fact that I was angry with him.

[Mike Niehaus]

Think about this, if no one had asked you to write about whether or not you believe in destiny, then this would not exist. I would not be able to respond to this unless this had happened to you.

On that note, I'm glad that it did.

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[dsi]

When we look closely at all events in life, we find there is reason behind it. It is not about God or a hand in human affairs that is unseen. It is about the use and abuse human beings put all conditions on earth to, in their search for their purpose in life.

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[keylogger Mac]

Oooh - I love this post! Well said....