Question

If you could give up all awareness and/or consciousness of what is "cool," would you? 

In other words, does knowing which clothing or music or television or foods or habits is cool, and which is dorky or lame, improve your life at all? 

[I ask because I have been out of sorts all day, because I am wearing a pair of jeans I got not too long ago.  When I got them I thought they were reasonably cool, but upon wearing them I realize that they are a tiny bit too short for me.  And that makes them definitively uncool.  Knowing this just makes me feel bad, bad, bad.  My life would be happier if I didn't know what length of jeans is cool.  But I am not sure I am adult enough to wish to be completely oblivious to such things.]

Comments

[Tillerman]

Yes.
No.

Give the jeans to some deserving creature immediately and buy a pair which fits you perfectly. An item of clothing which does not fit properly or do its proper adorning or psychologically-comforting work is useless.

[kj]

I am similarly out of sorts with my jeans today! I have only now discovered they are too short, which makes me feel like a complete dork and makes me wonder if I have begun to gain weight. I don't think I would be better off pretending that cool jeans don't matter; I think I would be more comfortable, and therefore, better off with new jeans. I can always wear these in the summertime, with flats (which are also cool).

[z]

Just unsew the hem at the bottom. You can pick it out with a pair of nail scissors or a small knife. You'll probably gain half an inch. It might take a few washings to get the creases out. Or just cut them off for shorts.

[l.]

I don't think the concept of cool applies here. Too-short jeans make your legs look shorter, and that would make anyone feel bad. Personally, I 'm an esthete :) and like things to look the way I want them to look, and that factors hugely into my clothes. I never really think about whether or not other people will even know the difference. Like Tillerman said, though, "any item of clothing which does not fit properly..." will leave you feeling like crap every time.

But overall, I don't think there IS such a thing as cool. Because if you listen to music or choose a wine based on other people's choices, you are being a follower, which is automatically not cool. Picking what you want to experience, regardless, is always cool. So cool, technically, is effortless.

I think maybe the problem comes when people confuse "cool" with "socially acceptable" which varies from group to group and is a good way to drive yourself insane. So if I spent the rest of my life with no real concept of what other people expect from me, taste-wise, or ability to care... I guess it'd be a lot like the first 32 years. This has a lot to do with my problems in law school. People like to "cite to authority," in even the STUPIDEST matters of taste, and everyone else just piles on, "Oh you're right. That's right. It's great." And I think, "It's no big deal, I'll just say that I've always preferred..." and instead of it being a conversation opener, as it usually is when adults agree to compare notes, everyone thinks I'm being difficult or something.

This is the long way to say, "Wear whatever style you want, but don't wear things that are totally unflattering because it's not good for your soul."

[Doris]

When I moved to Taiwan, I had no idea what was cool or not. It was liberating! We were friends with everybody, the housekeeper, the executive platinum traveler, the barber, the businessmen, the backpacker, the dumpling maker. It was refreshing to look at someone without immediately thinking - oh they are so (whatever). Whenever we got our friends together - there was for sure a weirdness about our parties because usually people of differing "coolness" never hang out together.

[Jill]

No way! Knowing about coolness is kind of like knowing a language. You don't have to speak it all the time to enjoy knowing it. I guess I think of coolness not as dictating what I should do but kind of like a fun feeling like along the lines of getting drunk. I just enjoy it sometimes when it's fun and safe and won't hurt anybody. It doesn't really mean anything about my or other people's innate value. It's just fun. But I wouldn't never want to enjoy it.

(eye roll)

Taking this off my blogroll after several years of steadily less interesting posts...

[Chipmunk]

Your question assumes that I know what is cool/uncool. If you like the jeans, wear them. Who cares what others think. If you were concerned about that you'd still be practicing law.

[Doug]

I went to a technical school. So far as I know, very few of us had any well-developed notion of what was cool in clothes, music, or consumer goods. Our attention was on something else. I expect we were easily recognizable to other people as people who were not "in the game". Some of us didn't even know there was a game. (Is this making sense?)

Now if you are aware of the coolness game, and are engaged enough to know what is going to be cool, and you have enough players in your class to get up a game (which can be a problem, say, for middle aged people in a rural area or a college campus -- there is simply no one to whom they are going to seem cool), then if you decline to play it can mean several things. For example:
You're depressed.
You're doing something very important or engaging.
You're a mother (see above).
You have a strong aversion to identifying with other players in your class (though there's always a role in the game for this type of player).
You have acquired a certain glow, whereby whatever you are becomes cool, so you no longer need to attend to this aspect of things.

I'm guessing you'd be satisfied with the latter. :)

[rob]

Man, I'm really glad you're taking this off your blogroll (eye roll). Now if you'd just stop trolling the rest of us could enjoy ourselves. Seriously, there's no need to announce yourself (and you obviously don't have the balls to even leave your name). Just bugger off, or learn some manners.

As to the short pants, I moved into an old house with an old washer and dryer (they wouldn't accept my set as a substitute) that only dries hot, so short pants has become a regular concern as the pants I bought 6 months ago are now too short (and not because I'm growing). Life is too short to fret, I say head them off to goodwill and get yourself a fresh pair that makes you feel good, cool or not. The number 1 indicator of cool, as far as I know, is being really comfortable in your own skin.

[AdriftAtSea]

Clothes should be comfortable more than anything else...why would you wear something that you don't feel comfortable in...this is particularly true for shoes. :D

Looking good is more a matter of a person's self-confidence and acceptance of themselves than it is of any exterior add on..

[girltuesday]

oblivious. definitely. definitely oblivious.

Eyeroller is only articulating what many in the readership are starting to realize or have realized. S is now in a different place, those of us with a real interest in the intersection of life and law (the ostensible subject of this blog) are getting ready to move on or have moved on (visiting only occasionally and worse,knowing what we'll find when we visit.) Some like me, are getting ready to move on with more reluctance than others.
Those readers who are Sherry's close, real life friends and family members will stay regardless, but something has been lost as the blog careens into the intensely personal and into Cosmo-style questioning -
10 ways to be sexy for him!
Should I stay or go??
Too bad.

[Deborah Overfield]

I believe everyone should do what makes them feel comfortable and let the rest go. Lifes to short to worry about cool or uncool.

[Megan]

Hmm. I never read this when it was about life and the law (although I would have, had I known about it). I read for her clear eye and sweet voice and bravery in showing us her fears. I can't see that changing, no matter the topic.

[PG]

I agree that this blog isn't much about law, which is why I took it off the blogroll for a site that is explicitly and pretty exclusively about law. Unlike others, however, I didn't feel the need to announce the fact (Stay of Execution gets much more traffic than that site, so why does it matter?). I actually became a more frequent reader myself, and started linking the blog on my personal site that *isn't* devoted to law.

The puzzlement remains as to why the negative comments are left only by the anonymous. I almost wish Scheherazade was small-minded enough to track the IPs of the negative commenters to see whether they're actually all the same person who is brave enough to be nasty, but not enough to name him/herself.

She probably does check IPs frequently. The comments aren't nasty but rather a bracing dose of reality and genuine feedback - the raison d'etre of blogging. The tones and cadences too are different so it's doubtful it's one anon poster. More telling perhaps - just a sign of a disenchanted readership.

[l.]

Hmmm. I'm not so sure I'm behind the idea of blogger-as-short-order-cook. It almost seems like fodder for a rant on how kids these days are less mannered and more demanding and unable to play by the rules (if you're going to go negative, use your NAME). But good luck eye roll and law-and-life-intersector.

[l.]

Hmmm. I'm not so sure I'm behind the idea of blogger-as-short-order-cook. For me, the point of a blog is to see what someone else has to say. Telling them what I expect to hear from them sort of defeats that point. But good luck eye roll and law-and-life-intersector.

[l.]

Ah, two things: 1) I wrote a more negative post about Eye roll and friends, then deleted it and started over. But still it posted. HOW? Sorry. I didn't want to say that out loud in the blogosphere. Although that is what I think... 2) I just noticed that the anonymous supporter of the anonymous haters rather defensively jumped to the defense of the idea that there is more than one anonymous hater out there. When no one said there wasn't. Why is that, I wonder?