What I'm Reading These Days

I'm reading Full Fathom Five, by Mary Lee Coe Fowler.  She's a terrific writer and also, coincidentally, my mom. 

I'm obviously not an objective reader, but I can say that I'm really digging the book.  It's about my grandfather, a man I never knew.  My mom never knew him, either -- he was a submarine captain, and he died at sea before my mother was born.  Her mother, my grandmother, remarried quickly and tried to move on, urging her children to do the same.  So for most of my mom's life, she obeyed, and didn't ask questions about her father.  For the first twenty-six years of my life I never thought about my grandfather.  I didn't have any stories about him, and because nobody had ever talked about him, it didn't occur to me to be curious. 

But my mom got curious about him about 9 years ago, and her curiosity started her digging into archives, learning about submarines, making friends with WWII veterans, and re-tracing the steps my grandfather took while he was alive.  And she wrote this book, about him, and about what it was like for her to learn about and grieve a man she never got to know. 

I'm struck by how thorough she has been in her research, and how brave.  She's learned all kinds of things about submarines, about WWII, and, indeed about war itself.  She's questioned her own biases (a pacifist, the process of war research forced her to reconsider her own notions about war, duty, and honor).  She asks uncomfortable questions: was her parents' marriage a good one, was her father a gambler, did he take unnecessary risks with his mens' lives?  She's assembled what seems like a pretty clear picture of a man, a life, and a time in history, from interviews and scrapbook excerpts, old letters and war accounts.  It's her past she's discovering, and mine, and it's really compelling to realize that I did want to know about this, all along.  I'm learning a lot about submarines and WWII history, and about its impact on family life in the years immediately following, and this is probably the most universally appealing and intellectually interesting part of the book from an objective point of view.  But for me those are incidentals -- I'm reading to learn something way more personal. 

I can see traits in myself that I probably inherited from this grandfather I never knew.  I'm gregarious; I like to work a room; I'll strike up a conversation with a stranger without hesitation.  It isn't learned behavior.  My parents are friendly but introverted.  They'd just as soon stay home and read, or, if they go out, sit at a corner table with good friends.  I've wondered over the years where my urge to reach out comes from.  I think it's from Jim Coe.  There's something really neat about getting a gift from someone who died 65 years ago.  And of course my mother gave me this gift: she gave me a second grandfather, another one I can be proud of.  I didn't know what I was missing.  It turns out it was a lot. 

Comments

[Joe]

Stopped by to read through this old blog, and was quite surprised to see this new post. Mistake? Subtlety? Certainly an interesting coincidence from where I sit.

My mother kept me in the dark about my biological father until I was in my late teens. The bastard product of an adulterous affair, I had always assumed that I was the third of three children from her first marriage.

I have had fits of interest in the interceding twenty years, but have only taken marginal steps to discovering more about my father. I get a lot from my mother, but her impressions of him are colored by the romantic haze of a deep and longing nostalgia. I have half-brothers who are much older, and I believe that his wife may also still be alive, but I am loathe to reach out to them, not wanting to build up my understanding by standing on the sorrow of a diminished understanding of who he was.

I'm very happy for you that you have been given this gift of insight. I am tempted to pick the book up and give it a read. A terrific writer you say...?

[S. M.]

I came across this blog by searching comments on "Law Schools" and cannot stop reading it. I love the way you write about your job and law school and the insight you have given me is very helpful in making my decision as of to what school to go to.
When comparing two specific Law Schools what would you particularly look at? There are so many stats out there, that I am confused as to what to concentrate on.

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The return of Stay of Execution?

[Daryn]

This sounds like an amazing book. It's remarkable that after all these years, your grandfather is still able to teach things to his family.

On another note, thank you for the new post. I have truly missed your voice.

[bill]

The Amazon reviews are strong too. C'mon, Oprah's book club! (Does she still have a book club?)

[Annie]

I came back to read some very old advice I'd remembered seeing some time ago, and low and behold, I find a new post. I hope this portends your return. You've been missed!

[JasonMichael]

I feel bad that you didn't get to know your grandfather, especially when I still go out golfing with mine... He too was in the Navy during WWII, and had a brief encounter with some kamakazi torpedos, fired from the same sub that sunk the U.S.S Indianapolis. Apparently, according to the log of the Japanese captain, his supply boat was in the area, and the Jananese submarine captain thought they were a bigger ship. One torpedo was a dud, and the other skidded off their bow.. Lucky, eh? Anyway, his boat is now a museum down in Mississippi.

When I was younger, I used to think of soldiers of World War II as men, so much older than they probably were. Now I realize that these were really young guys!!! Whatever years they were lacking, they made up for them in combat and what they accomplished.

Anyway, I'm sure you inherited those traits. I have quite of few from my grandfather too. Sorry to hear that you're gregarious. I have the same problem, and have no problem with it, until I run into someone who works a room better than I do - then I think, "Gosh, this person is worse than me!"

Anyway, isn't it nice that while you take time off from your blog, other people keep it alive and kicking for you with their comments?

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I have read your post and find it quite interesting. I like the story. I think its a good book to read. thanks for sharing!

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It's remarkable that after all these years, your grandfather is still able to teach things to his family.

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I came back to read some very old advice I'd remembered seeing some time ago, and low and behold, I find a new post. I hope this portends your return. You've been missed!

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