Don't Assume

I have a new laptop, and I've just opened a new financial institution account, and the combination means I've had about a million opportunities to choose from among selected "Secret Questions" that are designed to prompt me to give my chosen answer and confirm my account identity.  Who thinks these questions up, and what sort of people do they know? 

I find the choices of "Secret Questions" terribly offensive.  When I was still single, I remember how crappy the "Secret Questions" made me feel -- who was the best man at your wedding?  In what month did you meet your spouse? What is your spouse's middle name?  Damn, I thought.  Even my bank thinks I'm a loser for still being single.

Now there are bunch of similar children questions: "In what month was your eldest child born?" 

If you aren't married, or don't have kids, you've got to talk about your car or your pets.  I have friends with neither.  Or about high school -- who was your prom date, for example.  What was your high school mascot?  Which cheerleading squad did you first belong to? 

Turboglacier and I were talking about some alternative questions, that don't assume quite such a middle-America, white-picket-fence childhood.  Which of your tattoos do you regret the most?  What was bail set at in your first arraignment?  What is the first name of your elementary school tormentor?  Which Black Sabbath album did you buy first? 

Comments

[pjm]

They're lousy security, too; the pre-selected "secret questions" tend to be things (e.g. high school mascot, mother's maiden name) which can be discovered relatively easily through internet research. Anyone who doesn't know my pet's name (or yours, for that matter) should have their internet license revoked.

The much more secure method is the one you came up with: have the customer write their own security question.

[J]

The military does something similar for Isolated Personnel forms - you write four "mini-stories" each containing four facts which then become classified information to prevent their dissemination. In the event you become isolated, you can identify rescuing personnel as actually being from the US because they'll be able to tell you something from your stories, and they can identify you the same way.

So you actually could have "I got my first tattoo in June 2005 at John's Tattoo and liquor store; it reads 'Darlene Forever.'

[Richard]

Could be worse I suppose. They could ask how old you were when you were arrested for the first time, or what your probation officer's middle name is.

[Pat]

Not particularly nice is when the security question asks about someone who has died, so every time it comes up it's a bittersweet reminder.

[Pat]

Not particularly nice is when the security question asks about someone who has died, so every time it comes up it's a bittersweet reminder.

[C]

I suppose it would be worse to ask "In what month was your favorite child born?"

[Scheherazade H.]

Because I've just come back from a domestic violence trial, how about:
1. When was the first time you kicked your sister in the head?
2. When was the first time that you were in prison and found out your girlfriend was pregnant?
3. When was the first time you rang your girlfriend from prison and threatened to bury her alive if she gave evidence against you?

Note to self: must be less cynical.

[Backdated]

I like it when it lets you make up your own question. My bank does that for email money transfers, and my sister glories in trying to stump me: "What was the name of that babysitter we had who played Duran Duran albums and snuck her boyfriend in after we were in bed..."

[Turboglacier]

The prom date question always depresses me, because I had neither.

[2gb usb stick]

Hi,
More secret questions means greater security--it's such a good excuse to extract marketing info from end-users that I'm a little surprised that companies don't use it.

[Gran Canaria holidays]

I think security question mentioned by single person individually is best option for privacy.

[missseo]

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